Linus Torvalds: you take a week-long swing at a problem you find annoying, fascinating, or both. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by some alternative from the GNU project that, pinky promise, is coming out any day now.
Grace Hopper: BEGIN a framework that powers critical government functions, AND has secretly saved America from mass destruction time and again, only to be dunked on by Reddit for trivial matters of syntax END.
John Carmack: Doom, but better-looking.
Brendan Eich: you take a week-long swing at a problem your employer finds commercially compelling. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by the prior art it was supposed to build on.
Fabrice Bellard: A problem with several competing solutions catches your fancy. Within a week you have a gleaming, state-of-the-art solution that is flexible, reliable, and extensible—all written in pure, efficient C. Everyone begins to build on your work.
Donald Knuth: While writing your magnum opus, a minor irritation arises. You invent a new subfield of computing and spend two years developing a highly idiosyncratic language and tool system.\footnote{And several new typefaces!} Your irritation dissipates and you go back to work with your writing. Generations of academics curse your creation but have nothing better to work with. They wonder if they can get Fabrice Bellard to take a crack at it…
Working on (a medium-sized team that is working on) an LTE base station in the late 2000s and then I'm introduced to his work. It was a very humbling experience. Over the decades I've met a handful of people who were, at times, within reach of Fabrice but he is truly in a league of his own.
> Brendan Eich: you take a week-long swing at a problem your employer finds commercially compelling. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by the prior art it was supposed to build on.
Jack Woodford, a decent pulp writer in the first half of the 20th century who also wrote several books on writing and on how the publishing industry works, including "Trial and Error" in 1933 which Robert Heinlein and Ray Bradbury both cited as a major influence in getting their writing careers started, had a nice description of how to plot:
> Boy meets girl; girl gets boy into pickle; boy gets pickle into girl
To summarize Dan Brown books by describing the characters fundamentally misunderstands them. The characters are about as important as the characters in a porno.
The point of a Dan Brown book is to chart the stupidest possible path through history and pop science, and he's uniquely capable of this.
Terry Pratchett: A visionary on the Discworld invents something vaguely like a modern object or industry. That invention enslaves the visionary and must be stopped by a crotchety old person who hates change.
Wodehouse: Titanic forces beyond your control such as scheming aunts, accidental engagements, and inability to express your feelings threaten to irrevocably ruin your life forever. It’ll take a Machiavellian mastermind and a series of unlikely coincidences to extricate you from this predicament but you’ll have to pay a price.
Andy Weir: Your indomitable human spirit has gotten you far. Now in the face of overwhelming odds, you will need to show resilience and science the shit out of your situation.
In their defense, I appreciate that they actually tagged it as AI. A lot of people would be tempted to post them without attribution, especially given that tagging it is a great way to get dumped on.
Even more so, they provide commentary at the bottom on the weaknesses of the model, which is useful!
Stephen King: A character wonders if, given all the suffering recently endured over the last few hundred pages, life is nonetheless still worth living. This character is killed by an entity which, despite all appearance and reputation, is permanently and inexplicably murderous.
Whoooa, what a blast from the past. I loved that site, but I bet I haven't been there in 15 years. It seems their most recent update was just last week.
Because I hope that more people listen to the audiobook series Strange Company:
Nick Cole:
Log Keeper's Note: Aftermath. In those dark years of the long crossing between the world we'd cut loose of the bad contract on, and the repair facility on Hardrock, the Strange Company slept and the galaxy caught fire as we dreamed for twenty-five years of sublight. The old order of the Monarchs, mighty yet petty gods determined to burn worlds and take humanity with them down into the deep dark graves of empire, began its final collapse. Worlds fell into shadowy chaos, overrun by the cackle of automatic weapons carried by the Simia Legions, while ring stations at Oberon and Circe burned like fiery jewels. Into this madness and maelstrom rode the Strange Company.
(That’s a slightly abridged excerpt from the second audiobook of the duology, Voodoo Warfare. I call them audiobooks rather than novels because in print form they are merely quite good but very derivative examples of their genre, but as narrated by Christopher Ryan Grant, they are among the most epic and inspiring stories I have ever heard come alive.)
Having just found out about topic X, and thought about it for 30 seconds, I have strong advice for the world's expert about an edge case they forgot for solutions to topic X.
Your project looks interesting... But, what's the point, when you can easily accomplish this (and much more) simply by self-hosting XYZ, wrapped by an instance of FOO, backed by a simple cluster of BAR, communicating with a BAZ? Also Rust.
Your comment does not have a license and even if it did I highly disagree with your interpretation of how it can be both available to all of humanity forever free of all obligation but also I disagree with your monetization scheme, also my partner and I on one of our many hobby vacations have long ago created the solution that sadly was lost to imposter syndrome and inappropriate recycling.
To do King justice you have to capture some kind of on-the-nose allegory (alcoholism, childhood trauma, the existential dread of one's musical tastes being classifiable as dad-rock, the Cold War), and it can't be about the corruption and decline of small-town New England, which is everpresent. Yog-Sothoth should make an appearance.
Every social network: you make something for your friends and end up with viral growth immediately or after years of nothing. You spend the rest of your days policing trolls, spammers, and scammers trying to abuse or hijack the network. You or someone in marketing send out too many spammy notifications abusing user trust and users block your notifications. Nobody shows up
anymore and network dies.
Every rom-com: Boy meets girl and they have good times. Somebody messes up. They have a fight. The get back together again.
Every Hallmark movie: Big city girl ends up in small town by coincidence. While decorating for Christmas she falls for the small town guy and decides to stay. (The productions get cheaper by the year, so where they had scenery you now see people talking in front of a blurry background for 90% of the plot. )
I want an author who's work is completely unidentifiable from one release to the next. Or to find a dozen authors who have inconceivably and independently created identical manuscripts. Surely if there were a library with all possible books, we would find one of those two things...
>> Dan Brown -- Award-winning author Dan Brown has written a complicated role for you with his expensive pen. You are a humanities professor at an Ivy League university, but also, somehow, in mortal peril. Your love interest is picturesque but ill-mannered and French. This is somehow worth several million dollars.
Kafka seems low-effort though. I humbly substitute:
You have inside you an extraordinary writer but are instead employed at the postal service, where you spend the rest of your days watching your first manuscript submission mistakenly misrouted back across your desk.
> Renowned author Dan Brown woke up in his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million house – and immediately he felt angry. Most people would have thought that the 48-year-old man had no reason to be angry. After all, the famous writer had a new book coming out. But that was the problem. A new book meant an inevitable attack on the rich novelist by the wealthy wordsmith’s fiercest foes. The critics.
> Renowned author Dan Brown hated the critics. Ever since he had become one of the world’s top renowned authors they had made fun of him. They had mocked bestselling book The Da Vinci Code, successful novel Digital Fortress, popular tome Deception Point, money-spinning volume Angels & Demons and chart-topping work of narrative fiction The Lost Symbol.
> The critics said his writing was clumsy, ungrammatical, repetitive and repetitive. They said it was full of unnecessary tautology. They said his prose was swamped in a sea of mixed metaphors...
Brandon Sanderson: scrappy protagonist discovers that they have magical powers, despite struggling from crushing depression and/or trauma. This annoying guy named Hoid smirks at everyone. The next weekend they accidentally trigger the end of the world, which they prevent in the nick of time by becoming a god.
Brandon Sanderson: Spacebar activates your special movement ability, F activates your special attack, watch your power meter--and don't miss the cutscene at the end of the final boss fight!
HN comments, N levels deep: The subtle mention of a largely tangential but controversial topic is important to me. Here is an eight-paragraph thinly-veiled diatribe on why you are wrong.
A snippy comeback that isn't remotely as clever as I thought it was. I am now quoting every other sentence of your reply as I try to both double down on my point and furiously back-pedal my use of the term.
A performative personal attack, disguised as helpful suggestion; revealing that the purpose of my engagement was never a serious discussion, but only making myself look good. The use of a semicolon tastefully solidifies my position as a very smart commenter.
William Gibson: You are an adequate but drug-addled hacker, navigating dangerous, high-tech worlds where blurred realities, conspiracies, and corporate power struggles force you to uncover hidden truths, survive against powerful forces, and ultimately question the nature of identity, technology, and control.
Neal Stephenson: You are a small cog in a historical epic leading to a far-flung speculative future, where you grapple with the complexities of technology, cryptography, and philosophy, as well as incidentally discovering the best way to eat Captain Crunch cereal.
What does it say about me that I've only actually read 14 of the 56 authors in the second list [1] as an adult (i.e. by choice)? I know of quite a few, but haven't read most of them.
Humanity would be a pretty bland experience if everybody universally read the same toplist of influences. Some may aspire to study The Classics at Oxford, but to me that sounds like a nightmare of deprivation.
Accordingly I see your balanced, partial foray into those classics as a positive. It shows you're an individual bespoke personality with broader influences. We won't know which of the modern works we read are future classics - that'll come in hundreds of years.
I would argue that a shared corpus that everyone has read is a key foundation to a society with rich and nuanced social intercourse. That doesn't mean everyone has read the same books, but there would be significant benefits in kids coming out of high school or college having all read 50 or 100 of the same great books (plus anything else they wanted to read).
I've had the pleasure of listening in on some discussions from high-school students that study classics meeting each other for the first time. Their discussions tend to be very different from what you'd hear from a typical high-school student. While other students might share the language, the ones who have read the same 50 or so great books tend to have a shared vocabulary of ideas at their disposal that doesn't seem to be there without the shared books.
The reality is that the average high school student will not have truly read 50-100 novels, and the opportunity cost of doing so would be substantial for the diverse aptitudes that comprise the entire youth population.
I believe my life has been richer and more joyful for having had some companions whose minor concessions to the fiction reading hobby in childhood leant more towards Asterix and Obelix than to Charles Dickens; I'm certainly not getting "second best" from them in either company or conversation!
Nonetheless I take your point about the potential benefits of shared corpus, despite contending that the extreme of One Universal Prescription also brings the potential downsides inherent to any artificial scope constraint. Diversity and balance of focus are important too.
due to my being saddled with the British National debt it turns out that a loner of a dying race must set out on a morally ambiguous journey through all reality, killing everyone he meets except for a thinly disguised Sancho Panza - Volumes 1 through 119.
due to my having accidentally stolen the brown acid from Alan Moore, who you probably suspected I might actually be for some years, in Volume 120 loner from a dying race meets other loners from other dying races in future and merges into 1000 limbed kaiju and is forced to eat the soul of Sancha Panza.
on edit: due to having eaten the brown acid I stole I forgot how to spell words like eldritch and Alan and have edited one of them in a new edition of my previous work to undo the typo introduced in the acid-addled version.
due to coming down from previous trip I realized that racism has infected fantasy like a virus, and the only way forward is poorly disguised Gormenghast pastiche.
on edit: thinly veiled threat to write 500 more comments on this issue in the next few months.
due to my having survived the last 3 or 5000 comments, this part is somewhat hazy, I would just like to say that China Miéville is my legacy and he thinks of me as his literary father, which I am in a way, although I am a heroic loner from a forgotten race doomed to wander through HN writing comments for all eternity until I can finally destroy the Evil God who cursed me to do so and cash my royalty checks.
on edit: or perhaps I have cashed these royalty checks here, in the end times, and am having lovely sex times with erotically gender strange creatrixii - a word like any other. While the world dissolves into a tangerine ice cream created by the whim of the last human minds to develop a plot point.
OK, but what if it turns out - in the end of all this - I'm actually Jesus! huh!? Pretty cool right! Those drugs were so freaking worth it!! Now to pay off the mortgage I took out to afford the drugs!
on edit: I would like to detour into a very long series of comments in the following subtree of this site as to why Grant Morrison sucks and has ripped me off and is no good.
this is the first of my congratulatory interviews with people who admire me with I_complete_me, in which I talk about how I was the first originator of the character Jerry Cornelius and how he is I, while Gideon Stargrave is just a cheap ripoff by a no talent hack, later I shall take out a massive loan on my future creative output to buy enough drugs to allow me to stomp about the countryside flattening cottages in the hope of squishing Grant Morrison who is an agent of Chaos.
on edit: it may appear that I am easily hurt and somewhat petty, but given that I am stomping about the countryside flattening cottages it follows I am actually very strong and the far bigger man.
Cervantes: hipster idealistic old fart with vintage books tries to roam around the world with a pragmatic and grounded singleton as if they lived in 'the good old times from the books' kicking the asses of bad guys.
Instead of a militia, they look like funny hobos disguised as comedy soldiers in a TV sketch.
'Modern', real life events hit the hipster back. Literally, up to the point seeing the singleton lecturing him over and over after several clashes with the world. Everyone laughs.
Hemingway: All of life’s problems start and end with a drink. You drink because there’s something inside you that’s broken, something you can’t fix—or at least not yet. Anxiety gnaws at you, born from problems you can’t solve, or the weight of old trauma. The bottle seems like a way out, a moment’s peace from the storm in your head. And for a while, it works. The drink quiets the noise, softens the pain. Soon enough, the drink that was supposed to save you is the very thing pulling you under. The problems you were running from don’t disappear—they grow, just like your need for the next drink.
#All possible codebases by major programmers
Linus Torvalds: you take a week-long swing at a problem you find annoying, fascinating, or both. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by some alternative from the GNU project that, pinky promise, is coming out any day now.
Grace Hopper: BEGIN a framework that powers critical government functions, AND has secretly saved America from mass destruction time and again, only to be dunked on by Reddit for trivial matters of syntax END.
John Carmack: Doom, but better-looking.
Brendan Eich: you take a week-long swing at a problem your employer finds commercially compelling. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by the prior art it was supposed to build on.
Fabrice Bellard: A problem with several competing solutions catches your fancy. Within a week you have a gleaming, state-of-the-art solution that is flexible, reliable, and extensible—all written in pure, efficient C. Everyone begins to build on your work.
Donald Knuth: While writing your magnum opus, a minor irritation arises. You invent a new subfield of computing and spend two years developing a highly idiosyncratic language and tool system.\footnote{And several new typefaces!} Your irritation dissipates and you go back to work with your writing. Generations of academics curse your creation but have nothing better to work with. They wonder if they can get Fabrice Bellard to take a crack at it…
> Fabrice Bellard
Working on (a medium-sized team that is working on) an LTE base station in the late 2000s and then I'm introduced to his work. It was a very humbling experience. Over the decades I've met a handful of people who were, at times, within reach of Fabrice but he is truly in a league of his own.
> Brendan Eich: you take a week-long swing at a problem your employer finds commercially compelling. The result enjoys staggering worldwide success in the ensuing decades, despite being clearly outclassed by the prior art it was supposed to build on.
Pretty brilliant, right? Right?
I would like to quote the creator of Dogecoin:
> In reply to that, Mr Markus was asked whether he had considered energy usage when creating the cryptocurrency.
> “i made doge in like 2 hours i didn’t consider anything,” he wrote.
I love this so much. It's like "The Emperor's New Clothes", except it's the Emperor himself yelling "I'm naked you fucking idiots!"
Please forgive my JavaScript joke: it’s really just a poorly-written series of callbacks.
It wasn't that great, but some of the callbacks had promises...
I'm still awaiting the punchline.
Not fulfilled yet? Maybe in the next tick.
this is the problem
You merely extended the prototype
Jack Woodford, a decent pulp writer in the first half of the 20th century who also wrote several books on writing and on how the publishing industry works, including "Trial and Error" in 1933 which Robert Heinlein and Ray Bradbury both cited as a major influence in getting their writing careers started, had a nice description of how to plot:
> Boy meets girl; girl gets boy into pickle; boy gets pickle into girl
Weird than "Trial and Error" is not available in Gutenberg.
Every New Yorker short fiction: our protagonist, a slightly dislikable person, suffers from a medium-high amount of ennui.
To summarize Dan Brown books by describing the characters fundamentally misunderstands them. The characters are about as important as the characters in a porno.
The point of a Dan Brown book is to chart the stupidest possible path through history and pop science, and he's uniquely capable of this.
Don't make fun of renowned author Dan Brown.
https://onehundredpages.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/dont-make-f...
I actually kind of like renowned author Dan Brown, the same way I kind of like the acclaimed historical drama National Treasure
>The point of a Dan Brown book is to chart the stupidest possible path through history and pop science, and he's uniquely capable of this.
Clive Cussler begs to differ.
Terry Pratchett: A visionary on the Discworld invents something vaguely like a modern object or industry. That invention enslaves the visionary and must be stopped by a crotchety old person who hates change.
He had a few variations on that where the invention is adapted and adopted by the crotchety olds.
Wodehouse: Titanic forces beyond your control such as scheming aunts, accidental engagements, and inability to express your feelings threaten to irrevocably ruin your life forever. It’ll take a Machiavellian mastermind and a series of unlikely coincidences to extricate you from this predicament but you’ll have to pay a price.
They really didn’t do Wodehouse justice in the OP
They also restricted themselves to a subset of his stories; branch out beyond Jeeves and you find the school stories, the social commentary, and more.
From 50,000 feet they do look somewhat similar, but they're not.
how could they.. its impossible
A link to "All Possible Plots II" [0] would have been better, because it includes everything in "All Possible Plots I"
[0] https://www.the-fence.com/all-possible-plots-ii/
Depending on the referrer URL, you may or may not be hit with a paywall.
https://archive.ph/h2y0R
Andy Weir: Your indomitable human spirit has gotten you far. Now in the face of overwhelming odds, you will need to show resilience and science the shit out of your situation.
Michael Crichton: Humanity employs raw hubris and technological advancement for a close-encounter with non-humanity. Chaos ensues.
[flagged]
'I decided to imitate this outburst of human creativity with AI. Wow!' is a great way to stop getting invited to parties (with humans).
In their defense, I appreciate that they actually tagged it as AI. A lot of people would be tempted to post them without attribution, especially given that tagging it is a great way to get dumped on.
Even more so, they provide commentary at the bottom on the weaknesses of the model, which is useful!
Albert Camus: Alone and isolated you grapple with the absurdities of existence. And who the f*k are you?
Stephen King: A character wonders if, given all the suffering recently endured over the last few hundred pages, life is nonetheless still worth living. This character is killed by an entity which, despite all appearance and reputation, is permanently and inexplicably murderous.
So, Mr It, what's the upside of all this stalking and childmurder? What's your favorite videogame?
Also there needs to be a chapter where children run a train on a girl in the sewers
Reminds me of "Book-A-Minute" (http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/) from yesteryear.
Most of the entries are for specific books, but there are also some authors mentioned, e.g. "The Collected Works of Dean Koontz": http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/koontz.shtml
"A Scanner Darkly" entry [0] is my favorite so far. Somehow, it's wildly accurate.
[0] - http://www.rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/dick.scanner.shtml
Whoooa, what a blast from the past. I loved that site, but I bet I haven't been there in 15 years. It seems their most recent update was just last week.
Because I hope that more people listen to the audiobook series Strange Company:
Nick Cole:
Log Keeper's Note: Aftermath. In those dark years of the long crossing between the world we'd cut loose of the bad contract on, and the repair facility on Hardrock, the Strange Company slept and the galaxy caught fire as we dreamed for twenty-five years of sublight. The old order of the Monarchs, mighty yet petty gods determined to burn worlds and take humanity with them down into the deep dark graves of empire, began its final collapse. Worlds fell into shadowy chaos, overrun by the cackle of automatic weapons carried by the Simia Legions, while ring stations at Oberon and Circe burned like fiery jewels. Into this madness and maelstrom rode the Strange Company.
(That’s a slightly abridged excerpt from the second audiobook of the duology, Voodoo Warfare. I call them audiobooks rather than novels because in print form they are merely quite good but very derivative examples of their genre, but as narrated by Christopher Ryan Grant, they are among the most epic and inspiring stories I have ever heard come alive.)
I need an "Every possible comment by Hacker News users"
Having just found out about topic X, and thought about it for 30 seconds, I have strong advice for the world's expert about an edge case they forgot for solutions to topic X.
Man Feels Like He Gets Gist Of Enlightenment After First Few Minutes Of Hearing Zen Monk Talk
https://theonion.com/man-feels-like-he-gets-gist-of-enlighte...
Your project looks interesting... But, what's the point, when you can easily accomplish this (and much more) simply by self-hosting XYZ, wrapped by an instance of FOO, backed by a simple cluster of BAR, communicating with a BAZ? Also Rust.
I didn't read the article, but--
I ran this article through ChatGPT and here are some comments it came up with:
Your comment does not have a license and even if it did I highly disagree with your interpretation of how it can be both available to all of humanity forever free of all obligation but also I disagree with your monetization scheme, also my partner and I on one of our many hobby vacations have long ago created the solution that sadly was lost to imposter syndrome and inappropriate recycling.
Also the back button doesn't work on your site and it does something really terrible with my scrolling.
http://n-gate.com/hackernews/
I really miss this project. It's AI replaceable of course but I'm not sure a computer can pull of the such withering personal attacks.
Aw man I miss n-gate... Anyone know why they stopped?
I am very disappointed this stopped
bizarre fixation on china huh
title: foo
comment: an essayesque rant about deeply held ideological beliefs that are not even vaguely related to foo
"Citation needed."
All possible trees by major forests
Pithy and absolutely correct
Funny, thanks. This is another very fun one in the same spirit:
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/what-your-favorite-sad-d...
Stephen King: you'll know better than to FAFO after I tell you what happened in Maine a few decades ago.
To do King justice you have to capture some kind of on-the-nose allegory (alcoholism, childhood trauma, the existential dread of one's musical tastes being classifiable as dad-rock, the Cold War), and it can't be about the corruption and decline of small-town New England, which is everpresent. Yog-Sothoth should make an appearance.
Or mix together your own plot, by combining any of the tropes in the "Periodic Table of Storytelling": https://jamesharris.design/periodic/
TV Tropes had something similar.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/storygen.php
Every social network: you make something for your friends and end up with viral growth immediately or after years of nothing. You spend the rest of your days policing trolls, spammers, and scammers trying to abuse or hijack the network. You or someone in marketing send out too many spammy notifications abusing user trust and users block your notifications. Nobody shows up anymore and network dies.
Every rom-com: Boy meets girl and they have good times. Somebody messes up. They have a fight. The get back together again.
Every Hallmark movie: Big city girl ends up in small town by coincidence. While decorating for Christmas she falls for the small town guy and decides to stay. (The productions get cheaper by the year, so where they had scenery you now see people talking in front of a blurry background for 90% of the plot. )
I want an author who's work is completely unidentifiable from one release to the next. Or to find a dozen authors who have inconceivably and independently created identical manuscripts. Surely if there were a library with all possible books, we would find one of those two things...
Sounds like you'd be interested in the short stories of Jorge Luis Borges - your comment brings Pierre Menard to mind.
Not exactly, but Walter Jon Williams keeps switching genres successfully:
- Napoleonic sea fighting
- early cyberpunk (Hardwired)
- middle cyberpunk around the Solar System (Voice of the Whirlwind)
- late cyberpunk post-scarcity space opera(Aristoi)
- transhuman space opera (Implied Spaces)
- New Mexican police procedural / thriller (Days of Atonement)
- near future thrillers (This Is Not A Game and sequelae)
- fantasy of city infrastructure (Metropolitan and City on Fire)
- comedy of manners (the Drake Maijstral trilogy)
- Fall of the Space Roman Empire (Dread Empire's Fall series)
- Medieval fantasy (Quillifer and sequelae)
and a Giant Disaster novel, a Zelaznyesque SF mystery, and a Star Wars work-for-hire.
There's enough there for five separate authors to make marks on the field.
> Or to find a dozen authors who have inconceivably and independently created identical manuscripts.
So, kind of like, or so it is said, the septaguint?
>> Dan Brown -- Award-winning author Dan Brown has written a complicated role for you with his expensive pen. You are a humanities professor at an Ivy League university, but also, somehow, in mortal peril. Your love interest is picturesque but ill-mannered and French. This is somehow worth several million dollars.
Kafka seems low-effort though. I humbly substitute:
You have inside you an extraordinary writer but are instead employed at the postal service, where you spend the rest of your days watching your first manuscript submission mistakenly misrouted back across your desk.
Don't make fun of renowned author Dan Brown!
> Renowned author Dan Brown woke up in his luxurious four-poster bed in his expensive $10 million house – and immediately he felt angry. Most people would have thought that the 48-year-old man had no reason to be angry. After all, the famous writer had a new book coming out. But that was the problem. A new book meant an inevitable attack on the rich novelist by the wealthy wordsmith’s fiercest foes. The critics.
> Renowned author Dan Brown hated the critics. Ever since he had become one of the world’s top renowned authors they had made fun of him. They had mocked bestselling book The Da Vinci Code, successful novel Digital Fortress, popular tome Deception Point, money-spinning volume Angels & Demons and chart-topping work of narrative fiction The Lost Symbol.
> The critics said his writing was clumsy, ungrammatical, repetitive and repetitive. They said it was full of unnecessary tautology. They said his prose was swamped in a sea of mixed metaphors...
https://onehundredpages.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/dont-make-f...
I clicked on this link with one of my two index fingers and felt the joy of a person feeling enjoyment
Oh man this made me laugh out loud wheezing. Thank you!
> He reached for the telephone using one of his two hands
lol
You are a humanities professor at an Ivy League university, but also, somehow, in mortal peril. Your love interest is picturesque but ill-mannered...
This is also true of Indiana Jones, which everyone likes.
Indiana Jones taught at Marshall College, I hardly think that qualifies as Ivy League. What a disappointment to his father that guy was.
Iain M Banks: (spoilers) the narrator is secretly an AI
Brandon Sanderson: scrappy protagonist discovers that they have magical powers, despite struggling from crushing depression and/or trauma. This annoying guy named Hoid smirks at everyone. The next weekend they accidentally trigger the end of the world, which they prevent in the nick of time by becoming a god.
Brandon Sanderson: Spacebar activates your special movement ability, F activates your special attack, watch your power meter--and don't miss the cutscene at the end of the final boss fight!
(From someone who loves Brandon Sanderson)
100% accurate except for the “or.”
Hacker News: Apple launches data center on a stick, and boy does Elon Musk have an opinion about that (14879 comments)
HN comments, N levels deep: The subtle mention of a largely tangential but controversial topic is important to me. Here is an eight-paragraph thinly-veiled diatribe on why you are wrong.
A condemning argument against your diatribe, based largely on my personal definition of a loaded term your diatribe used.
A snippy comeback that isn't remotely as clever as I thought it was. I am now quoting every other sentence of your reply as I try to both double down on my point and furiously back-pedal my use of the term.
A performative personal attack, disguised as helpful suggestion; revealing that the purpose of my engagement was never a serious discussion, but only making myself look good. The use of a semicolon tastefully solidifies my position as a very smart commenter.
...re-written in Rust.
It would have better through-put if it were rewritten in Elixir, I would do it in Erlang but I find the syntax less appealing.
It's OK though, since throughput considerations don't matter as hardware is so fast now and your boss just wants you to get the thing shipped
So long as it doesn't have leaky abstractions, it passes muster.
"thomas hardy
Lies, lies, misery, lies, suicide, rape, and corn prices."
So true
This also makes you think his book would be depressing to read but I've read the Mayor of Casterbridge and I would call it joyful. Odd.
'Oh, you think you hate me? Hold my gruel.'
They could have had an entry for McSweeney's that just said "the text of this article".
William Gibson: You are an adequate but drug-addled hacker, navigating dangerous, high-tech worlds where blurred realities, conspiracies, and corporate power struggles force you to uncover hidden truths, survive against powerful forces, and ultimately question the nature of identity, technology, and control.
Neal Stephenson: You are a small cog in a historical epic leading to a far-flung speculative future, where you grapple with the complexities of technology, cryptography, and philosophy, as well as incidentally discovering the best way to eat Captain Crunch cereal.
New Neal Stephenson out today, looking forward to more of that formula, we'll see.
Both articles (there's a sequel) read like not bad flash fiction.
See also, PLOTTO, all possible plots by ALL authors:
1) https://garykac.github.io/plotto/plotto-mf.html
2) https://www.npr.org/2012/02/19/146941343/plotto-an-algebra-b...
What does it say about me that I've only actually read 14 of the 56 authors in the second list [1] as an adult (i.e. by choice)? I know of quite a few, but haven't read most of them.
Here's my list (++ indicates more than 1):
A missing classic author is Robert Louis Stevenson - all his books are amazing, even 150 year later.If you've read more than one Dickens novel, you have my deepest respect.
1. https://www.the-fence.com/all-possible-plots-ii/
Humanity would be a pretty bland experience if everybody universally read the same toplist of influences. Some may aspire to study The Classics at Oxford, but to me that sounds like a nightmare of deprivation.
Accordingly I see your balanced, partial foray into those classics as a positive. It shows you're an individual bespoke personality with broader influences. We won't know which of the modern works we read are future classics - that'll come in hundreds of years.
I would argue that a shared corpus that everyone has read is a key foundation to a society with rich and nuanced social intercourse. That doesn't mean everyone has read the same books, but there would be significant benefits in kids coming out of high school or college having all read 50 or 100 of the same great books (plus anything else they wanted to read).
I've had the pleasure of listening in on some discussions from high-school students that study classics meeting each other for the first time. Their discussions tend to be very different from what you'd hear from a typical high-school student. While other students might share the language, the ones who have read the same 50 or so great books tend to have a shared vocabulary of ideas at their disposal that doesn't seem to be there without the shared books.
The reality is that the average high school student will not have truly read 50-100 novels, and the opportunity cost of doing so would be substantial for the diverse aptitudes that comprise the entire youth population.
I believe my life has been richer and more joyful for having had some companions whose minor concessions to the fiction reading hobby in childhood leant more towards Asterix and Obelix than to Charles Dickens; I'm certainly not getting "second best" from them in either company or conversation!
Nonetheless I take your point about the potential benefits of shared corpus, despite contending that the extreme of One Universal Prescription also brings the potential downsides inherent to any artificial scope constraint. Diversity and balance of focus are important too.
A friend of mine has been reading Ulysses since 2022, I've stopped asking him about it.
OK but where's James Joyce?
They have a “part 2”
I miss literary fiction but with age my weakness for a point has become an all consuming vice.
Someone do Michael Moorcock.
due to my being saddled with the British National debt it turns out that a loner of a dying race must set out on a morally ambiguous journey through all reality, killing everyone he meets except for a thinly disguised Sancho Panza - Volumes 1 through 119.
due to my having accidentally stolen the brown acid from Alan Moore, who you probably suspected I might actually be for some years, in Volume 120 loner from a dying race meets other loners from other dying races in future and merges into 1000 limbed kaiju and is forced to eat the soul of Sancha Panza.
on edit: due to having eaten the brown acid I stole I forgot how to spell words like eldritch and Alan and have edited one of them in a new edition of my previous work to undo the typo introduced in the acid-addled version.
clearly you have read a significant portion of the Saga of the Eternal Champion.
due to coming down from previous trip I realized that racism has infected fantasy like a virus, and the only way forward is poorly disguised Gormenghast pastiche.
on edit: thinly veiled threat to write 500 more comments on this issue in the next few months.
due to my having survived the last 3 or 5000 comments, this part is somewhat hazy, I would just like to say that China Miéville is my legacy and he thinks of me as his literary father, which I am in a way, although I am a heroic loner from a forgotten race doomed to wander through HN writing comments for all eternity until I can finally destroy the Evil God who cursed me to do so and cash my royalty checks.
on edit: or perhaps I have cashed these royalty checks here, in the end times, and am having lovely sex times with erotically gender strange creatrixii - a word like any other. While the world dissolves into a tangerine ice cream created by the whim of the last human minds to develop a plot point.
OK, but what if it turns out - in the end of all this - I'm actually Jesus! huh!? Pretty cool right! Those drugs were so freaking worth it!! Now to pay off the mortgage I took out to afford the drugs!
on edit: I would like to detour into a very long series of comments in the following subtree of this site as to why Grant Morrison sucks and has ripped me off and is no good.
But first - a series of congratulatory online interviews between myself and various creators who do appreciate me and that I, in turn, appreciate.
I have no idea what you're doing here but I am impressed enough to have got to the end. (No meta here, I assure you.)
this is the first of my congratulatory interviews with people who admire me with I_complete_me, in which I talk about how I was the first originator of the character Jerry Cornelius and how he is I, while Gideon Stargrave is just a cheap ripoff by a no talent hack, later I shall take out a massive loan on my future creative output to buy enough drugs to allow me to stomp about the countryside flattening cottages in the hope of squishing Grant Morrison who is an agent of Chaos.
on edit: it may appear that I am easily hurt and somewhat petty, but given that I am stomping about the countryside flattening cottages it follows I am actually very strong and the far bigger man.
This is not the end. It is the beginning.
accurate
Cervantes: hipster idealistic old fart with vintage books tries to roam around the world with a pragmatic and grounded singleton as if they lived in 'the good old times from the books' kicking the asses of bad guys. Instead of a militia, they look like funny hobos disguised as comedy soldiers in a TV sketch. 'Modern', real life events hit the hipster back. Literally, up to the point seeing the singleton lecturing him over and over after several clashes with the world. Everyone laughs.
The only one of these parodies that makes me want to read the author being parodied is Hemingway.
Apparently, dude could write.
Hemingway: All of life’s problems start and end with a drink. You drink because there’s something inside you that’s broken, something you can’t fix—or at least not yet. Anxiety gnaws at you, born from problems you can’t solve, or the weight of old trauma. The bottle seems like a way out, a moment’s peace from the storm in your head. And for a while, it works. The drink quiets the noise, softens the pain. Soon enough, the drink that was supposed to save you is the very thing pulling you under. The problems you were running from don’t disappear—they grow, just like your need for the next drink.
Or as Philip K Dick knew him - "Serious constricting path".
Citation?
LOL!